Homeschooling "Unschooling"

Homeschooling has always been at the back of our minds when it came to schooling options. When our oldest was in Kindergarten we home schooled him into Grade 1 because he spent more time in hospitals than in school. Homeschooling should have been easy then - but it wasn't.


Children's Hospital Edmonton - Matty's third surgery 5 years old

At this age, Matty had spent more time in hospitals than he did in school. Although he loved the social aspects of school he just couldn't keep up to the physical and mental demands required. Since this was my first shot at homeschooling I jumped in head first! (I tend to do that without thinking first!) I ordered textbooks, workbooks, Math, Science, Phonics, Art... I went the 9 miles with my 5 year old!

And burnt out fast!

We had a son with chronic health issues... we were all in and out of hospitals every 2 weeks... while still in the first few years of being married ... with a toddler tagging along.  Homeschooling was like going to the dentist - without the anesthetic! My son and I fought, argued, threw tantrums (both of us!) and struggled ALL OF THE TIME.

Within a year, Matt seemed ready to try public school again. (I had obviously failed at homeschooling so I figured I'd leave it to the professionals - so I thought).  After meeting with the school I felt confident that they would attend to his needs. And they did for the most part. Whew, we got through Grade 1. Matt's marks were average and his report cards great yet we still wondered if things were really as good as they seemed. Then came Grade 2.

The first day of school I rejoiced that I finally had 8 hours to myself while my oldest was securely in Grade 2 and our youngest had just entered pre-K with excitement. I was also excited for them  - and for me! Independence at all ranks!

Then things started happening. We saw increased signs of stress and anxiety with our oldest. Chewing shirts until they looked like rags hanging off his bony shoulders. Emotional outbreaks and constant disciplining. He loved school. He loved his friends. He loved all the exciting things that happened - hot dog day, spirit day, treasure boxes, stickers, rewards for work well done! What could be wrong we asked? We didn't know so we just kept rolling with the punches.

Then it hit - the punches I mean! His anxiety turned into anger just over half way into the school year. He was angry at me. He was angry at his little brother. He was angry at his dad. He was angry at the world! What is going on? Is it anxiety or is it something bigger? We began looking for assessments to find the answers. Nothing. In every meeting, assessment, diagnostic exam he hit the NORMAL range. Exasperated we wondered what we should do? We discussed homeschooling again. Not yet, maybe later.

So we moved on. Literally.


Proudly showing off his Star Wars Space Ship design

We had been preparing to move to our acreage/farm for the past three years. It was like out second home and now it was time to make it our permanent home. The last month of school was so difficult that we pulled the boys out of school a week early and moved to the farm.

We spent the next three months making home as stable as possible for our oldest while still trying to live as a family. Things only got worse. More doctor's visits only at these ones, I was in tears. We needed help. They put Matty on ADHD medications to help control his anger while it seemed like everyone around us watched in disbelief. No one else ever saw the troubled Matty. All they saw was a 'normal child' who seemed a bit stressed. Then it was time for school to start in our new home town.

Again, the school recognized the struggles our family had been walking through and agreed to do anything they could to help. I sure hoped so! We went through September holding our breath. Everything was fine at school - not at home. Tensions built. More medications. October was the same. "Maybe you need some parenting counselling". November came and we just continued on this horrible roller coaster ride called 'normal life' of short lived ups with 10 second pivots at the top of the ride that resulted in the repeating (almost scripted) and eventual crash that left many wounded and crippled.

That was it. We prayed. Matty, Daddy and I. We all looked for the answer. Within a week we were all convinced that homeschooling was the answer. I attended a breakfast meeting with Homeschooling moms who shared their stories. I sat in tears weeping. "This is what he needs" I thought. I knew it in my heart - deep inside I knew that he was an intelligent boy - beyond his years in some ways. But how was I going to tap into his potential and help him survive daily routines. They had a name for it... "Un-Schooling"!

I couldn't believe it! I had laid awake at night wishing I could take Matty out of school and just teach him how to live - really LIVE. Without stress. Without panic attacks. Without fear and nightmares. Without medications. Once we mastered living - I figured then we could go on to pursue great things - or maybe I should say that once we mastered living - we would have pursued great things!


Christmas Day - learning to snowboard

It is now the end of January and the boys have been homeschooled  unschooled for two months now. In that time we've been learning to live together as a family. Matthew has risen strides above where he was two months ago. Although the learning curve is steep (when is it ever an easy slope eh?) he is being challenged constantly to rise to the occasion. Not only that but he has been taken off three of his four ADHD medications and we anticipate that he should be able to go off the last one in a month or so!

I think that is amazing! While Matty was in school 6 months he gained an 'acceptable' education with the need of 4 ADHD medications and now while at home only 2 months he has been able to throw them in the garbage! Some may argue though that we are not providing him an 'acceptable' education. You know - especially calling it "UnSchooling!" I beg to differ. I've got my son back. He still struggles but nothing like before.

Showing off the l.e.d. flashlights they just made.

Here is a brief outline of the things the boys have been learning this month:

- math - fractions - baking

- team work and perseverance - daily chores

- animal husbandry - chickens, horse, pigs, salamander

- working independently

- health - daily medical care on his own

- science - understanding power systems and water systems

- home economics - hand stitching, cooking, baking

- electronic engineering - building their own flashlight

- reading - out loud and silent reading - 18 books to date

- math - cool games on Internet

- printing - writing letters and reports

- arts - numerous crafts and gifts

- recess - plenty of sunshine and outdoor play (more than they've ever done before) and loving it

- learning to snow board

- emotional health - taking responsibility for actions and emotions, learning to cope with anxiety, stress and disappointment (how many of us wish we'd learned that a lot earlier?)

- faith - learning to quiet themselves to listen to the still small voice of their Creator, seeing answers to their prayers

The list goes on....

My lessons learned:

- listen to the quiet voice of the Lord's leading - He knows what is best for my children!

- God loves my children even more than I do! And he has sent the Helper (Spirit) to guide them. My job is to teach my children to quiet themselves to hear His voice and then choose to listen.

- my children HAVE the potential to succeed! They just need to choose it!

- when I remember these things, I am a good teacher and an even better parent!

outside: -22 deg C, light flurries with 200 watts of power trickling in

inside Guest House: 22.4 deg C, a beautiful fire in the wood stove and two boys peacefully asleep